Post-Partum Depression (the honest truth story)

When I got pregnant for the second time I thought okay this pregnancy is going to go a little bit better then my first. Let me tell you about my first pregnancy a little bit first.

I got pregnant when I was 19. I was young and had no knowledge of what to do in the situation. I knew it was hard to take care of a baby and without her father in the picture I knew I had to grow up and be a single mother. My pregnancy was off the wall I had morning sickness in the beginning and for some reason tomatoes and mashed potatoes would make me vomit nonstop until they were out of my stomach. Other then that I was really active I was always going out and always walking I hardly gained weight but I gained enough to keep a healthy pregnancy. My daughter was born on August 1, 2006. She is going to be 5 soon and she amazes me everyday. After I had her I suffered Post-Partum Depression severely. I was always crying, always sick, and I couldn't handle taking care of my daughter by myself. I thank god for my family everyday because without them I couldn't have overcome it. I didn't know there was such thing as PPD and how serious it really was. I felt in a daze the first year of my daughters life. I regret not seeking help when I knew I needed it. I may have not seen it then but now I see that my mom helped me so much with my daughter; more then she should have in reality and I am very grateful to her for that.

Now let's roll to the present and I have my son he is now a little over 6 weeks old. My doctor told me I have a mild case of PPD and that I should talk to someone and find a positive person other then the people in my house and other then family to confide in when I need someone to talk to. I have a friend named Megan who I met on the WhatToExpect June 2011 board and we met around my 3rd or 4th month of pregnancy. She has been my positive person that I confide in. I chose her because she has two kids like myself now and she understands pregnancy and the aftermath of pregnancy. I really didn't know that having someone in the same scenario as me would actually help my PPD.

I still have my moments of crying and being overwhelmed but I am taking it a day at a time. Even with the lack of sleep (and sadly lack of showers). I love my two kids to death and I would take a bullet for them. They are what keep me motivated and keep me going every single day. I don't hesitate or protest I do what I have to do everyday to make sure my kids are happy and healthy.

If it wasn't for them I don't know what my future would hold. Now I have a plan. I am going to follow that plan. Before I would procrastinate and never finish everything I started. Now I know I have two kids that are looking up to me to be a good person. I want them to know they can to great things in life and that bumps in the road shouldn't stop them and that it should push them even more to do great things for themselves and their future.

I hope they both go to college and have great careers but most of all I want to them to be doing what they want to do because I want them to be happy and have great confidence and self esteem. If they hit the many bumps that they will hit I want them to know I will be there to get them through it no matter what it is. I am their mommy I am here for them until I am no longer here. I will never give up on them.

This is just my story of PPD and overcoming PPD.

Deanna